20

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. 
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

19

Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. 
Doctor: Next please!

18

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" 
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

16

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? 
Johnny: Nothing, sir. 
Headmaster: Exactly.

15

Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?" 
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?" 
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!" 
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"

14

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. 
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

12

Two goldfish in a bowl talking: 
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God? 
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?